How I Met Your Mother. No, Seriously.

MJ:  Hey everyone!  Look at me!  You thought it was crazy when I tattooed an Eames couch on my stomach.  Look at me now that I am channeling Chris Evert and Miles Standish at the same freaking time!  I am so odd.  I’m edgy.  I’m weirder than anyone else in the rooooooooooooom.

Wait.  What?  Peter Fucking Marino is here?  Who let him into my party?  It’s MY party.  I want to be the biggest weirdo.  I want everyone to talk about me.  I want to be OUTrageous!!!

Oh Christ on a stick, fine.  I’ll let him take a photo with me but if he gives me one of those bear hugs…

Oh fuck.  Here he comes.

PM:  Goldilocks!  Who’s been sleeping in Papa Bear’s bed?  Now come give Daddy some sugar.